Then, you can be like this guy.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
I'm addicted ...
I'm addicted to my daughter's laugh. I come home everyday, and the first thing I want to do is go over and tickle her or chase her around the room to make her giggle.
She hasn't quite realized that when I chase her, she should run away from me. Usually, as soon as she realizes I'm following her, she turns around with her signature crinkly-nosed grin and runs full tilt right at me. I guess I should be glad she's not shy.
I don't mean this to be one of those sickeningly sweet posts about happiness, rainbows and daffodils, but I can't help it. I'm addicted. And if I'm addicted to anything, I guess it's good it is only my daughter's laugh.
She hasn't quite realized that when I chase her, she should run away from me. Usually, as soon as she realizes I'm following her, she turns around with her signature crinkly-nosed grin and runs full tilt right at me. I guess I should be glad she's not shy.
I don't mean this to be one of those sickeningly sweet posts about happiness, rainbows and daffodils, but I can't help it. I'm addicted. And if I'm addicted to anything, I guess it's good it is only my daughter's laugh.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Church Music
Disclaimer: I'm LDS (or Mormon), and this post might be confusing to those unfamiliar with this church. I had to post it anyway because the memory of this experience still makes me laugh. For those unfamiliar with Mormons, I've tried to explain the confusing parts in parentheses.
Now that I've written this all out, I get the feeling it was funnier in my head.
As you know, we're a conservative group. We are pretty calm when it comes to our meetings, and many people may feel it makes them boring. In my mind, it just makes it easier to listen for the Holy Ghost and the promptings I feel as a result.
When I was in high school, we had a Ward Conference (each congregation is called a ward, and in this case, there were three wards meeting together). The woman asked to play the organ for hymns as well as the choir numbers was a lounge pianist by profession.
This meant she would tend to ad lib a little, and inevitably you'd start to unconsciously tap your foot to the beat of the song. I happened to be sitting on the stand for the meeting, so I could see the congregation as they filtered in.
All of the sudden, from the side door right in front of me, this woman came in. She was pretty young, but she seemed to be limping pretty bad. I couldn't really see her except for her head and shoulders due to the wooden partition in front of me. As she turned to come up the stairs, I noticed she was lugging a huge guitar case. (Typically, we keep excess instruments to a minimum and usually only have the more easily reverent instruments like the violin or flute, simply so people can more easily focus on the words and the meaning of the hymns we sing.)
I was a little surprised to see her coming in with this, but got distracted as a guy about her age came in through the door behind her. He was also limping, and when he rounded the corner, I noticed he was carrying an amp.
By the time we started the meeting, I forgot all about the two who set up shop behind me. When the choir starting singing, all of the sudden, I was nearly knocked out of my chair when the guitar came in with the amp right behind my head. It turns out she was actually carrying a bass guitar.
It was a great song, and I'm just sad I can't remember what they sang that day.
Now that I've written this all out, I get the feeling it was funnier in my head.
As you know, we're a conservative group. We are pretty calm when it comes to our meetings, and many people may feel it makes them boring. In my mind, it just makes it easier to listen for the Holy Ghost and the promptings I feel as a result.
When I was in high school, we had a Ward Conference (each congregation is called a ward, and in this case, there were three wards meeting together). The woman asked to play the organ for hymns as well as the choir numbers was a lounge pianist by profession.
This meant she would tend to ad lib a little, and inevitably you'd start to unconsciously tap your foot to the beat of the song. I happened to be sitting on the stand for the meeting, so I could see the congregation as they filtered in.
All of the sudden, from the side door right in front of me, this woman came in. She was pretty young, but she seemed to be limping pretty bad. I couldn't really see her except for her head and shoulders due to the wooden partition in front of me. As she turned to come up the stairs, I noticed she was lugging a huge guitar case. (Typically, we keep excess instruments to a minimum and usually only have the more easily reverent instruments like the violin or flute, simply so people can more easily focus on the words and the meaning of the hymns we sing.)
I was a little surprised to see her coming in with this, but got distracted as a guy about her age came in through the door behind her. He was also limping, and when he rounded the corner, I noticed he was carrying an amp.
By the time we started the meeting, I forgot all about the two who set up shop behind me. When the choir starting singing, all of the sudden, I was nearly knocked out of my chair when the guitar came in with the amp right behind my head. It turns out she was actually carrying a bass guitar.
It was a great song, and I'm just sad I can't remember what they sang that day.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Read. Now.
Stop whatever you are doing and read this.
I nearly died laughing, and I know for sure this is a real story.
I nearly died laughing, and I know for sure this is a real story.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Addictive Personalities
Some people have addictive personalities. I'm sure I'm one of them. Just watch how quickly I devour a plate of cookies or how many times I listen to my new favorite song on auto-repeat.
Unfortunately, I think my daughter got this from me. She is only 1 1/2 years old, and she's already addicted to TV. We don't even have it on that often, and yet she's obsessed.
Every time she passes a TV, she wants it on. She is particularly infatuated with Princess and the Pauper (one of the Barbie movies). She wants to watch it nonstop.
As a result, I have memorized all of the songs, whether I want to or not.
(Tangent)
When we first got the movie, we bought it because it was on sale. I figured it would be a cheap attempt to market yet another set of Barbie dolls. I anticipated a weak plot, shoddy acting and bad music. I must say, I was pleasantly surprised. It's not a bad movie (bearing in mind the intended audience). However, any redeeming value tends to evaporate after the 467th viewing.
(End Tangent)
So, if anyone wants to sing along to one of the many songs in the movie, just give me a call. I'm sure I can refresh your memory on the words.
"To be a princess is to know which spoon to use."
"To be a princess is a thousand pairs of shoes."
End scene.
Unfortunately, I think my daughter got this from me. She is only 1 1/2 years old, and she's already addicted to TV. We don't even have it on that often, and yet she's obsessed.
Every time she passes a TV, she wants it on. She is particularly infatuated with Princess and the Pauper (one of the Barbie movies). She wants to watch it nonstop.
As a result, I have memorized all of the songs, whether I want to or not.
(Tangent)
When we first got the movie, we bought it because it was on sale. I figured it would be a cheap attempt to market yet another set of Barbie dolls. I anticipated a weak plot, shoddy acting and bad music. I must say, I was pleasantly surprised. It's not a bad movie (bearing in mind the intended audience). However, any redeeming value tends to evaporate after the 467th viewing.
(End Tangent)
So, if anyone wants to sing along to one of the many songs in the movie, just give me a call. I'm sure I can refresh your memory on the words.
"To be a princess is to know which spoon to use."
"To be a princess is a thousand pairs of shoes."
End scene.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Football and Brain Damage
I have a friend. He is a great friend. He's one of those nice guys that would do anything for anyone. However, in high school, he played football, and I think he may have had one too many hits in the head. To be fair, I think he has recovered since then. But, there is a conversation we had back then that I will never forget.
Football Junkie: I think my vision is getting worse.
Me: Really? Why do you say that?
FJ: Well ... every once in a while when I tackle someone, I feel this pop in the back of my head and my vision gets blurry for a while. It comes back, but I think it gets a little worse each time.
Me: Um ... then you really need to stop playing football.
FJ: But football is so cool!
Yeah, that's right. According to this conversation, he would rather go blind than stop playing football.
Update: My friend doesn't play football, and he still has his vision, something I'm sure his wife is grateful for.
Football Junkie: I think my vision is getting worse.
Me: Really? Why do you say that?
FJ: Well ... every once in a while when I tackle someone, I feel this pop in the back of my head and my vision gets blurry for a while. It comes back, but I think it gets a little worse each time.
Me: Um ... then you really need to stop playing football.
FJ: But football is so cool!
Yeah, that's right. According to this conversation, he would rather go blind than stop playing football.
Update: My friend doesn't play football, and he still has his vision, something I'm sure his wife is grateful for.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Jesus the Caveman
Yesterday, my wife and I took our daughter to a dinosaur museum. We had free tickets, so even though she is not quite old enough to fully enjoy it, we made it a family outing anyway.
In one room, we found the skeleton of a huge wooly mammoth surrounded by a bunch of human skeletons. They were all positioned so the human skeletons looked like they were attacking the mammoth with spears and rocks. I was holding my daughter and pointing at it when I heard her say, "Jesus."
(Tangent)
We have pictures of Jesus throughout our house, and she loves pointing at him and naming him. However, at this point any bearded man is "Jesus" to her.
(End Tangent)
I stared at the skeletons, baffled that she would get a Jesus vibe from their boney structures. It was only when I turned to look at her that I realized she wasn't even looking at the skeletons. She was looking on the other wall where there was a mural depicting a prehistoric village.
Sure enough. Amongst all the other people, there was Jesus. Jesus the caveman.
In one room, we found the skeleton of a huge wooly mammoth surrounded by a bunch of human skeletons. They were all positioned so the human skeletons looked like they were attacking the mammoth with spears and rocks. I was holding my daughter and pointing at it when I heard her say, "Jesus."
(Tangent)
We have pictures of Jesus throughout our house, and she loves pointing at him and naming him. However, at this point any bearded man is "Jesus" to her.
(End Tangent)
I stared at the skeletons, baffled that she would get a Jesus vibe from their boney structures. It was only when I turned to look at her that I realized she wasn't even looking at the skeletons. She was looking on the other wall where there was a mural depicting a prehistoric village.
Sure enough. Amongst all the other people, there was Jesus. Jesus the caveman.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
How To Article of the Week
This week: How to Give Good Directions
I think we could all use a lesson in this. Whether or not this particular article will help is another story.
I think we could all use a lesson in this. Whether or not this particular article will help is another story.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Reno 911 - Best Scene Ever
I keep watching this over and over. I love it when she starts throwing in choreography.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Inversion Layer
Currently, Provo, Utah has the worst air quality in the nation. That's all thanks to the inversion layer. I thought Californians were the only ones to have a fancy name for smog.
(Tangent)
Growing up, it always made me laugh to hear people say it was "hazy." But doesn't haze sound so much better than smog? If only a name change had the power to make it not as gross to breathe.
(End Tangent)
Since the only way to get rid of all this junk is a nice storm, I'm surprising myself by how anxious I am to have one blow through. Yes, I know that will mean more shoveling, but I'll take it if I can get this headache and sore throat to go away.
(Tangent)
Growing up, it always made me laugh to hear people say it was "hazy." But doesn't haze sound so much better than smog? If only a name change had the power to make it not as gross to breathe.
(End Tangent)
Since the only way to get rid of all this junk is a nice storm, I'm surprising myself by how anxious I am to have one blow through. Yes, I know that will mean more shoveling, but I'll take it if I can get this headache and sore throat to go away.
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