Tuesday, June 22, 2010

If I'm not back in 5 minutes, call the cops.

I have a cough.

I’ve had it for 5 days.

There is no end in sight.

I’m almost desperate enough to take drastic measures like sticking a vacuum hose in my mouth to try to suck out the ... flegm … (flegm? flem? phlegm?) … mucus.

It sounds like a shotgun is going off in my cubicle every time the tickle in my throat gets unbearable.

I brought some cookies to work as a peace offering on Monday, but I have a feeling my coworkers are currently plotting my demise. I’m sure it involves a strobe light, water torture and seasons 1 through 3 of Barney and Friends.

Help me.


Super Happy Girl said...

I’m almost desperate enough to take drastic measures and go to the doctor.


Shorty said...

Get to the doc! What are you waiting for? No need to torture yourself... or your neighbors/family. We have technology these days that will heal you completely. And probably pretty fast, too. Wishing you a speedy recovery!

JMadd said...

I hate phlegm and mucous. They have drugs for that.

Carrot Jello said...

I hate Barney. You'd better get well.

Carrot Jello said...

I called the cops. They'll be there shortly.

Carrot Jello said...

After they figure out what your last name is. I just told them your first.