Saturday, February 13, 2010

How To Article of the Week

This week: How to Crochet a Yip Yip Alien

Talk about your specialized interests. I'm dying to know how many page views this How-To has.

Three, maybe four tops?

Friday, February 12, 2010

Merry Happy

I don't know what it is about this song by Kate Nash, but I've really been enjoying it (particularly the chorus).

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Maybe I'm reading into this too much ...

My daughter usually calls me Daddy, and sometimes she reverts to the slightly less cute version, Dad.

However, every once in a while, she refuses to say either and calls me Nathan.

You know those kids who purposefully shred sections of their clothes, pierce every available part of skin, paint their fingernails black, wear black lipstick and refuse to come home at curfew?



Those kids call their parents by their first names.

But I suppose it's a little early to start searching my two year old for a switchblade.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I'd be the first one booted on Dancing with the Stars

Growing up, there seemed to be a school or church dance every weekend. In truth, there was probably one of each per year, but those few dances were enough to scar me into feeling like high school was my own personal dancing version of Groundhog Day.

*shudder*

Aside from feeling like a complete moron every time I had to move to a rhythm, I was already lurpy enough to stand out in any crowd.

To this day, whenever I hear dance music, each of the vertebrae in my back temporarily fuse together. It's like having a broomstick for a spine. You can imagine the cool moves I can do when that happens.

(Tangent)
Does anyone want to help me name this newly discovered medical condition?

There might just be a plate of cookies in it for you.
(End Tangent)

Thankfully, now I know I'm not alone. Here is another Matt Koval video to illustrate.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Sunday: Day of rest?

***Disclaimer: This is a Mormon-themed post. If anything sounds unfamiliar, just smile and nod.***

If I remember correctly from my Primary class, Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest.

Will someone tell that to all the supplemental meetings I have?

Yesterday, I was literally running from place to place starting at 7:30 a.m., and it didn't stop until 3:30 p.m.

(Now is the part when you all say you're going to call the Wha-mbulance for me or ask me if I want some cheese with that whine.)

Saturday, February 6, 2010

How To Article of the Week

This week: How to Clean Pennies

Just in case you have nothing better to do.

Friday, February 5, 2010

My Creative Brothers

As I have mentioned previously, my brothers found some pretty creative ways to tease me.

Had they used that energy to accomplish something productive, we might have a colony on the moon by now, be driving hover cars or have a cure for cancer.

Instead, I just have a bunch of emotional scars (which I overly dramatize every chance I get).

One of the classics was when they had a puzzle for me. They told me to repeat the following phrase over and over again, going faster and faster.

"O-vat ah-jier kiam."

Since I have a PhD in being gullible, I decided this would be fun.

I'll let you figure out what I ended up calling myself.

Go ahead, I'll wait.

...

Another time, they decided to show me this cool new game. They took a piece of paper, a quarter and a felt marker and traced an outline of the quarter on the paper. Then they told me I had to roll the quarter's edge all the way down my face, from the center of my forehead, down to the middle of my chin. Then while holding it against my chin, I had to try to drop the quarter so it would fit within the circle on the paper.

I'll let you guess how long it took me to get the resulting marker line off my face.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Someone cool noticed me

I still remember high school. I was a nerd, and happily bucked the popularity system. However, that didn't mean I was completely immune to being shunned.

It isn't fun for anyone to feel isolated. Fortunately, I had a great group of friends, so I hardly ever noticed.

But it still felt good when one of the "cool" kids was nice to me for once.

Well, I just had the biggest flashback.

This popular blogger actually recommended people click over to this page. Had I known, I would have cleaned up a little. Maybe put a funny post up front and center. Instead, I had some lame "How To" article up about making elephant toothpaste for about 4 days.

Brilliant.

At the risk of losing everyone who ever glances at my blog (i.e. my mom and my wife and maybe my sister), I'm going to recommend you check out Carrot Jello in all her glory.

She has a witty ramble that cracks me up every time. She's on my sidebar, but you can also go here or here or even here (just in case one link wasn't good enough).

You won't be sorry.

Just don't forget who sent you.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

You can never be too prepared ...

My mom has a 50 lbs. purse, and it is the perfect object lesson for one of her more intriguing qualities.

She has this driving need to be prepared for any eventuality. Does anyone remember Michelle Pfeiffer in that movie with George Clooney?

The main thing I remember about that movie was her purse. It was like the modern version of the carpet bag in Mary Poppins. She had everything in that thing. And better yet, she could still find all of it.

Well, my mom is the same way. And not just with her purse.

When I was in high school, she saw a program about car accidents in lakes and rivers. She learned all about the difficulties in getting out of a car when it is filling up with water.

And because her super power is being prepared, she wanted all of us to be ready, just in case we found ourselves in the same situation.

... but we lived in a desert.

(Tangent)
I grew up in Southern California, and the only river nearby was the L.A. River. If you've ever seen one of the chase scenes from the Terminator or the Italian Job, that huge concrete causeway with the little trickle of water down the center is the L.A. River.



And since there is about a mile of sand for the car to get stuck in between the road and the ocean, we were probably pretty safe there too.
(End Tangent)

But that didn't stop my mom. She bought a tool made to shatter windshields for each of our cars and Velcro-ed each of them to the driver's side visor.

She also made sure we knew how to use them. While I've never driven into a lake, I have forgotten any number of things throughout my childhood that would have been a problem had it not been for her 50 lbs. purse.

I love her for being prepared.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Potty Training

The day has arrived.

We've already had a couple accidents.

Pray for a miracle.