Thursday, April 1, 2010

My New Nickname

Yesterday, I finally got some pants altered to fit my stick-figure body. My wife lovingly bought them for me for Christmas, and I have only now managed to drag myself into the store to get them fitted.

(Evidently, a 30 waist is still too big.)

When the store called for a tailor, I was greeted by a pleasant, older lady who proceeded to graffiti my pants with her little fabric chalk thingy.

We chatted about how drastically skinny I was, and she assured me that it wasn't a big deal because she had a son just like me.

She also brought a few clips with her to help manage all the excess folds of soon-to-be useless fabric.

Apparently she underestimated how many she would need because she suddenly exclaimed: "Oh ... I need another clip. Can I get another clip for the tush-less wonder over here?"

Yep. The tush-less wonder. This may sound harsh, but it was the funniest thing I've heard all week. It was so funny, that I forgot to feel uncomfortable about having some strange woman feeling me up a little to get the measurements right on my pants.

4 comments:

Rob A. said...

That's my new favorite story. If you got it, flaunt it.

Carrot Jello said...

In my family, we call it "Frankman Flat bottom". Not a one of us have bums. It's a curse.
Just onnce, I would just like to sing "Apple Bottom Jeans" and give my "big booty a slap" and actually hit something other than a pancake.
I'm just sayin'.

P.S. I see Rob is 2 timing me with your comment box. I didn't know he swung that way.
Whatever you two.
Whatever.

Carrot Jello said...

I'm trying to form a mental image, it'd be easier if you just posted a video.

Let's see...
Super skinny
High voice
What else?
Hair?
Glasses?

Nathan said...

I probably should post a video, but my ugly mug would probably break the camera.

However, in answer to your question:

Thick, wire hair which is turning white faster than I'll be when I finally get my Hoveround.

No glasses. My one redeeming trait is 20/20 vision. I grow cavities like weeds grow in my garden, but my vision is crystal clear.