Thursday, April 1, 2010

My New Nickname

Yesterday, I finally got some pants altered to fit my stick-figure body. My wife lovingly bought them for me for Christmas, and I have only now managed to drag myself into the store to get them fitted.

(Evidently, a 30 waist is still too big.)

When the store called for a tailor, I was greeted by a pleasant, older lady who proceeded to graffiti my pants with her little fabric chalk thingy.

We chatted about how drastically skinny I was, and she assured me that it wasn't a big deal because she had a son just like me.

She also brought a few clips with her to help manage all the excess folds of soon-to-be useless fabric.

Apparently she underestimated how many she would need because she suddenly exclaimed: "Oh ... I need another clip. Can I get another clip for the tush-less wonder over here?"

Yep. The tush-less wonder. This may sound harsh, but it was the funniest thing I've heard all week. It was so funny, that I forgot to feel uncomfortable about having some strange woman feeling me up a little to get the measurements right on my pants.


Rob A. said...

That's my new favorite story. If you got it, flaunt it.

Carrot Jello said...

In my family, we call it "Frankman Flat bottom". Not a one of us have bums. It's a curse.
Just onnce, I would just like to sing "Apple Bottom Jeans" and give my "big booty a slap" and actually hit something other than a pancake.
I'm just sayin'.

P.S. I see Rob is 2 timing me with your comment box. I didn't know he swung that way.
Whatever you two.

Carrot Jello said...

I'm trying to form a mental image, it'd be easier if you just posted a video.

Let's see...
Super skinny
High voice
What else?

Nathan said...

I probably should post a video, but my ugly mug would probably break the camera.

However, in answer to your question:

Thick, wire hair which is turning white faster than I'll be when I finally get my Hoveround.

No glasses. My one redeeming trait is 20/20 vision. I grow cavities like weeds grow in my garden, but my vision is crystal clear.