As you've probably noticed, I don't attach names of my family and friends to stories on this blog. It's not that I don't love and adore them. I'm just a little paranoid about this thing called the Internet and how easy it is for someone in Sri Lanka to find out all kinds of information about me.
I know it's probably more likely to get struck by lightning twice while eating Twinkies at a Kenny G concert than to have something bad happen because I leaked a name, but it still creeps me out a little.
Still, this story has to have my wife's name in it, or it won't make any sense. So here it goes ...
My wife's name is Krystal.
She's always had a hard time getting people to spell it correctly because for some reason, everyone likes to spell it C-R-Y-S-T-A-L.
So, here's the story.
My wife recently had a birthday, and she LOVES Dairy Queen ice cream cakes. As a result, it has become a minor tradition to get one for her each year.
When I got to Dairy Queen, I picked a cake with a blank top so they could write, "Happy Birthday, Krystal!" on it. The Dairy Queen employee, who is not a native English speaker, had me write down exactly what I wanted the cake to say on a piece of paper. He then asked what color I wanted the message to be.
"Blue ... or purple ... or pink," I said.
He gave me a confused look, and said, "Krystal ... is a girl?"
I had to explain that she is a girl, but she likes blue.
He then took the cake back with him to work his magic. I stood there for about 10 minutes and started to wonder if he was actually eating my cake rather than writing on it.
When he returned, he was SO excited and was grinning from ear to ear. As he handed me the cake, he said, "I used all different colors. Is ok?"
As he passed me the cake, I almost didn't notice the bright blue, red and green lettering because this is what I saw:
In less than a second, the following thoughts raced through my head.
1. I don't think I ever mentioned red or green in the color scheme.
2. There is no way he's going to be able to stuff a "Y" in the spot where the "I" is if I ask him to fix it.
3. I really don't want him to disappear with this cake for another 10 minutes.
4. This will make a great funny story for later.
So, in response to his question, "Is ok?" I said with a smile, "Yeah, it looks great!"
When I got home, I told Krystal I'm relieved that I went to Dairy Queen that day. If I hadn't I would never have found out that all this time I'd been spelling her name wrong.