The Old People Patrol

Back in high school, my friends and I had a theory.

We figured out there was a special task force within the police department to prevent people from speeding. Now, we didn't know where the funding came from or why it was such a secret operation, but we were convinced it existed.

Have you ever noticed that when you are in a hurry, inevitably an old person pulls out in front of you, only to weave back and forth, maxing out at 22 mph?

They also seem to know exactly where you are going and head you off for about 15 blocks before finally peeling off.

We dubbed them "The Old People Patrol" and were convinced they even had a smelly truck division as well.



We figured they work in a network and are all connected by CB radios. As soon as they see someone in a hurry, they report it and send the closest agent to pull in front of the law breaker.

It was a pretty impressive system, one that always seemed to get me on my way to work.