Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Cult Chronicles

As I mentioned, my sister used to be married to a guy whose mom joined a cult in Montana to protect the world from alien invasion by chanting.

For more crazy stories about this, go here or here.

And, here's another one:

At one point, my sister got a phone call from her ex-mother-in-law (we'll call her Enid). Enid mentioned she had been saving up some money for my sister's two kids to help with college. However, she called to say she found a better use for it.

Apparently, one of the members of her cult bought a submarine and was having it shipped from the coast to his ranch in Montana. He planned to submerge it underground to prepare for the coming apocalypse.

I can only assume they think the aliens will eventually get around their chanting barriers and attack us all.
(End Tangent)

Thankfully, this guy wasn't being selfish. For a modest fee, namely two college funds, Enid was able to secure spaces on this modern Noah's Arc for her whole family. On one of their visits to see Enid, my sister even got a tour of the "bomb shelter."

And let me just tell you, she and her family will be HOOKED UP. While the rest of the world will be wishing they had made an impulse buy when they saw that submarine on sale at Costco, they will be waiting it out in style.

When my sister told me about all the amenities, and I began to wonder if I could just move in tomorrow.

Here's the short list:

  • A 7-year supply of food
  • Medical supplies
  • Separate bedrooms with bunk beds for family privacy
  • A living/community area
  • Kitchen facilities
  • Bathroom facilities
  • A school room
  • Curriculum materials
  • And don't forget guns! Lots and lots of guns.
These people thought of everything!

... but I wonder if they get HBO ...

1 comment:

trublubyu said...

that is funny! just where do you find a space to submerge a submarine? and how does one ship it to montana?

love how the mil's name keeps changing. that will for sure protect her identity!