Cult Chronicles

As I mentioned, my sister used to be married to a guy whose mom joined a cult in Montana to protect the world from alien invasion by chanting.

For more crazy stories about this, go here, here or here.

And, here's another one:

It was a normal day, and the last thing my sister expected was a surprise phone call from her mother-in-law (now ex-mother-in-law, we'll call her Wanda).

Here's a rough idea of how the conversation went:

Sister: Hello?

Wanda: Hi, this is Wanda. I've made a discovery and I wanted to tell you about it.

Sister: (Already flinching internally) Oh, really? What did you find out?

Wanda: Well, I was gardening this morning, and I was thinking about the mysteries of the universe, and then ... I saw my shadow.

Sister: (Trying not to say, "Yeah, the sun tends to do that sometimes.") Uh huh.

Wanda: I saw my shadow, and I could tell from the shape of it that in one of my past lives, I was a polygamist male.

Sister: ... Oh ...

I defy you to think of a politically correct way to respond to that.