I have a swag (definition #3) chess board on my desk at work.
For the last few weeks, a coworker and I have been playing an EXTREMELY drawn out version of the game. Our average lag time between moves was a day and a half.
Technically, I know how the pieces move, but I lack any ability to look ahead to future moves. I just blunder around the board, knocking over pawns and getting my good pieces killed.
This game was no exception. He made me feel pretty good about myself when I took his queen, but then he used one knight (one pesky little knight) to knock out my entire army.
I was left with my king, a few pawns and one knight. Needless to say, the game was over pretty quickly after that.
So, if any 5 year olds want to make me feel better about myself by challenging me to a game, I'm up for it.
Just be sure to let me win ... but don't tell me that you did.