Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Office Outtakes

For those of you who missed the predecessor to Office Outtakes (Cult Chronicles) go here, here, here, here, here, here and here.

These stories are about a specific coworker I used to have. She was a sweet girl, but she ... (how do I put this?) ... didn't have a verbal filter. For other Office Outtakes, go here, here and here.

Here's another one:

One weekend, our company went to a local college football game. This coworker of mine, we'll call her Steffanii (Steffi for short), was known to latch onto another coworker, we'll call her Becca. As luck would have it, Becca sat down with her husband, and who sat right next to her? You guessed it. Steffi.

At this point, Becca was 8 months pregnant, so Steffi decided that a football game would be the perfect atmosphere to pepper Becca with detailed personal questions about her pregnancy.

Evidently, this bonding time was going well for Steffi because she confided in Becca that by the time she gets married, her uterus would be all dried up (after which she made an accompanying straw sucking sound).

A little while later, Becca needed a break and had her husband switch seats with her. The result was this gem of a conversation:

Steffi: So, how old are you?

Becca's Husband: 25

Steffi: ... (Pause) ... Oh, I'm really into younger guys

There you go. Klassy with a K. When putting together a "How to Make Friends" list, hitting on a pregnant woman's husband probably shouldn't make the cut.


The Head Eagle said...

Wow! And all these out-takes..are the same co-worker? Lack of verbal filter, is a good way to put it!

Julie said...

And how old were you at the time, Nathan? And you were co-workers so you saw each other regularly? Soooooo how many times did she hit on you? Fess up.

Nathan said...

Oh, Julie. You're on to something here. That will be for another post entirely.

Let's just say I might have been able to sue for sexual harassment if I wanted to.